To God reply part 2
Thank you God for your prompt reply. I have been working very hard to solve your immediate problems. I have placed advertisements in all the major news papers in the U.K.I have also placed adverts on the internet and television. I am sorry to report the response has been very low. It seems in the U.K. there is a shortage of virgins.
This could be for a number of reasons, after extensive research here are my findings:-
(1) People may be too embarrassed to admit they are virgins, let’s call them ‘closet virgins’.
(2) In the highly sexualized permissive society of the West sex is now considered by many as a recreational sport (should be in the Olympics)
(3)The legal age for sex in the U.K is 16 years old. (This is a notional age), many people have sex before they are 16 yrs old, some are seasoned ‘professionals’ by the age of 17 yrs and earn good money.
(4) If you are an adult and have sex with person less than 16 yrs old, you can be prosecuted for having sex with a minor. Although if you are say 15yrs old and have sex with a 12 year old its O.K no prosecution. Also if you are under age and consent to have sex with someone much older, who takes advantage of your age and inexperience, it’s O.K because a Judge said so!
(5) The U.K has the most sexually active under 16yrs olds in Europe. This is something Britain is very proud of, and other people need to learn from our example, along with our very high teenage pregnancy rate, and high abortion rate, high divorce rate.
(6)So when this country lectures other countries about child marriages (a practice which should be banned) there seems to no discussion why so many school children are sexually active, which is sex without responsibility, sex under the legal age, when their mental maturity is not in line with their physical maturity, when they should be learning for their future.
(7) You see God in the U.K we have bought in to the most ridiculous agenda called Liberalism, which means you can do want you want within the law, which in the U.K. is very flexible. The consequence of this is society has degenerated to the lowest level, if you mess your life up the state will step to support your immoral and unethical behaviour. This is one of the reasons there is a shortage of suitable virgins which you need.
(8)You see God in the past sex, marriage, property, responsibility, morals and ethics, children were all linked Then the welfare state came along and women can have children without the need for fathers, people can have copious quantities off sex and if things go wrong the state has become the surrogate father, thus absolving people of their immoral and unethical behaviour or responsibility, hence rapid decline of virgins.
(9) As you will be coming to earth soon, one of your great Religions Islam has organised a beard and burka appreciation contest for you to judge. The beards and burka contest will be open to Muslim and non Muslim contestants as we here in the U.K do not discriminate. It will be open to gays, lesbians and transvestites and cross dressers.
I believe all of your three text books have some issues with gay people. I hope this will not be a problem for you, as you have had over two thousand years to think about this issue. For the best beard and burka we would appreciate if you would take the contestants on a three day tour of heaven including all the best sites you have reserved for the good people.
(10) I will be retiring soon, it will be difficult for me to survive on my investment income. I am looking for a part time job. Since you threw out Adam and Eve for eating the forbidden fruit and being naked from the garden Eden. I am sure the Garden of Eden must be overgrown and needing maintenance, as it has been empty for over two thousand years.
I will work for the minimum wage about 6 hours per week. If this gardening job is available just need to know if the serpent who is a permanent resident is still there. If so I will need to hire rent-o-kill to eradicate this menace. I do not want to be tempted by it to eat another apple and have the same fate as Adam and Eve. And most importantly I hate apples prefer grapes any day
Also can I use the Garden of Eden as a vegetable plot to supplement my meagre diet I will only grow food organically?.The healthy option.
(8) I am sorry to inform you will need to find virgins from other parts of the world or Universe. Virginity is no longer a virtue in the U.K.and in very short supply.
Just one small matter as you are the surveillance camera in the sky recording everything I would appreciate if you could find out who hit my parked car causing considerable damage.
Kind Regards Tiger Moto (puny insignificant earthling)