How to be an Atheist Muslim, Christian or Jew
Are you tired of your Religion, do you find it restricting, and fed up of the silly routines and traditions which seem outdated?. As a male do you resent having your penis being chopped of as a baby? Do you miss that extra bit, because it is has denied you work in the porn industry because you no longer measure up to the job?.
Fed up with what you can or cannot eat or drink. Resent starving yourself for one month of the year. Tired of being told a man 2000 years ago who upset his own community and got nailed to a plank was sent by God to save humanity, and is the source of all human knowledge and wisdom.
Not convinced of your community 2000 yrs ago wandered around the desert looking for the Promised Land by a man over 500yrs old,who climbed mountains for a hobby. Not convinced of burning bushes and parting of seas. Not quite convinced there are 70 virgins waiting for you in Heaven and if you are female a bunch of grapes.
Tired of the God squad knocking on your door demanding money with menaces. Not quite convinced the world was created 6000 yrs ago. Tired of walking around in some parts of the world covered in black...a walking bin bag,along with the many retrictions placed on women in many parts of the world,which deny them freedom and equality.
Then all hope is not lost. Do you want to have the Badge of your religion but without the content......then I might have the solution. Under my system you can still have faith, be devout, religious and good. Let me explain
1) If someone asks are you religious say yes.......Say you are very religious...You religiously get up every morning, you religiously go to the bathroom, you religiously have breakfast, you religiously go to work, you religiously come home, you religiously take the dog for a walk, you religiously cook meals for your family and you religiously clean the house....etc
2)If someone asks if you are devout say yes...Say you are devout skeptic,you are not quite sure of many aspects of your faith, you would like proof of miracles....Say you have been to magic shows and they perform miracles as well...and a lot cheaper. Sometimes these magic miracle workers tell you how they perform these miracles. Guess what they’re not miracles at all, but tricks on the mind.... maybe just like religion.
3) If someone asks do you have faith...say yes..Say I have faith in myself to do good. You faithfully carry out your duties, as father or mother or Uncle or sister or Brother or Aunt or a Grandparent, employer or employee...etc. You faithfully carry out these duties and others according to the best of your knowledge, skills and ability,all without the assistance of God or his associates on earth.
4) If someone asks do you pray...Say yes...You pray every day that all your hard work will reap good rewards on earth and definitely not in a non existent heaven, preferably early retirement will do nicely or a lottery win?
5) If someone asks do read religious books regularly.. Say yes...That you religiously, read all legal documents which relate to you and any goods in your possession like your house and car. Every Sunday you sit down at the dinner table and read these legal texts religiously looking for hidden meanings that you were not made aware of when you signed them.
6) If someone asks if you believe in the Ten Commandments..Say yes..Your Ten Commandments are located in the Kitchen and bathroom and relate to hygiene matters...as they say Godliness is next to cleansiness
7) If someone asks you do you believe in God..?Say yes..You believe in the God of real things, that you can touch, feel, and connect with that give your life meaning, hope, and purpose. Your God of real things is not invisible but visible in the natural beauty that surrounds you,and the world we live in.
8) If someone asks do you participate in communal Religious activities to help those less fortunate..Say says... last week you organized an orgy online for the over 60’s, a group which has been neglected. This week you organized activities for the local youths...for the girls you organized Beauty Therapy and shoplifting seminar, and for the boys basics of ram raiding shops and drug taking safely.
I hope with my suggestions you will lead a fulfilled and happy life as a Atheist Muslim, Christian or Jew...As I said keep the Badge of your faith but get rid of the contents, and replace them with good things like...Human rights, respecting people as individuals, equality for all, respect for and rule of law, to be a ethical and moral person, not to lie, cheat and steal.
It is better to have cultural values of your society,be they Muslim, Jewish or Christian which give you a better sense of identity and community cohesion .Have traditions that have real meaning and purpose, that change and adapt with changing circumstances. Your life on the planet is very short, it is better to leave this world knowing that you have done some good.